The Awareness That Heals blog posts present curated articles that offer effective pointers and practices to help support yourself during times when challenging emotions and difficult feelings arise. Based on the principles in the book Awareness That Heals, these articles offer practical methods to help us move toward a state of greater emotional well-being—especially during problematic times. The good news is that these are challenges that can be faced and embraced, thereby giving us a unique opportunity for effective self-care and self-healing.
Using Fear as a Catalyst for Building Courage and or Safety
Fear like all emotions gives the false impression that it is representative of a true perspective. They pose as the truth. This is so important for all of us to see as clearly as possible as our emotions have hypnotic effects that all too frequently puts us under their spell. If we can look at our past experience and see this it gives us a chance to do some reality testing to see that the amount of times that our fears indicate realistic assessments of the danger we are facing is minimal at the least. Read More . . .
There’s a Time for Feelings and a Time for Wisdom
Follow your feelings when they lead you to well-being but absolutely follow your wisdom guidance when your feelings aren’t leading to what’s most needed. Can you see the tendency most of us have to let our feelings rule our inner lives? If you look closely, you will very likely see that your feelings are a continuous flow inside you. But if you don’t intervene or understand how important your needs and the needs of others around us are, you will be defined by and follow what you feel and not get to what you need. Read More . . .
How Einstein Can Help You Care For Your Feelings
How do you cope with difficult feelings? When you try to make yourself feel better, do you try to force yourself to change your feelings by demanding they obey what you think or want to feel? How has giving yourself a hard time when you’re feeling too anxious, angry, depressed, empty, or confused worked out for you so far? I ask this with a smile on my face and hope it touches you in that place that sees the injuries that it has created. Read More . . .
Guiding Ourselves by Asking “What Does My Wisdom Suggest?”
please take a moment to find some of your commonly felt feelings in our Introspective Guides that will help you identify 75 challenging feelings and 75 healing qualities/needs. This will help you be more specific in seeing that you’re feeling anxious, angry, irritated, helpless, sad, etc. Similarly, the specific qualities will help you narrow down whether you need respect, trust, communication, empathy, honesty, etc. It is a critical part of healing to be able to be specific. Read More . . .
How To Express What You Need Instead Of What You Don’t Like
One of the foundational ways we disconnect from those we are intimate with or just those in our world is the tendency to express our dissatisfactions more than what we would find satisfying or fulfilling. For most of us, this requires or, more accurately, allows us to develop intimacy, warmth, connection, and trust rather than reinforce struggles, distance, or alienation. Read More . . .
How to Use Your Tone Of Voice to Develop Intimacy And Healing
What’s tone of voice? It’s the way you speak to another person — in sound and often with hidden meaning, the way you express yourself. It reflects our innermost motivations, reactions, and, when applicable, our character and wisdom — even when we aren’t aware of our wisdom or don’t have access to it yet. Is there a way we can go inside ourselves to learn how to convey our tone of voice in a way that creates benefit? Read More . . .
How Confusion is often a Sign of Depth and Potential for Fulfillment
Confusion is so often thought to be a negative feeling, one that is hard to tolerate. In our culture, it’s a feeling we are most frequently averse towards. Today, let’s take a look at confusion as a feeling and how we can support ourselves in changing our attitude, response, and understanding of it. We can also learn how to make it an ally in our life, rather than simply viewing it as a disturbance. Read More . . .
How Can Our Best Realistic Effort Help Us Connect With Ourselves and Others?
When we say to others (or even ourselves), “I did my best.” Do we really, truly, in our hearts believe that? Even though you may know that your best differs every day for different reasons, you might unwittingly demand that you do better than your best efforts. When we think of our best, we should also try and consider that it means our best realistic effort (BRE). BRE means that you’re doing the best you can and are doing it in a flowing focused effort. Read More . . .
How can you make insecurity your friend?
Almost all of us have dealt with insecurity in some way. Yet, more often than not, we consider insecurity undesirable or embarrassing and, at times, even shameful. I’ve noticed that insecurities don’t make their way out into the therapy room until much later. Insecurity is so disliked, and we often subject ourselves to self-criticism wittingly or unwittingly that it lies deep in the cellar of our mind (the subconscious). But what if we try to look at insecurity in a different light? Maybe even try to befriend it? Read More . . .
The Unintended Consequences of Mislabeling Our Thoughts and Emotions
One of the greatest contributions we can make in our lives (to both the world and to ourselves) is to stay dedicated and loyal to the truth in what we think and say. Although that sounds quite simple, it requires a good deal of contemplation to really have a chance of it becoming an art form in each of our lives. The world would be a different place to live in if we each took this to heart.” Read More . . .
How Challenging Feelings Can be a Guidepost to Our Needs
Often, it’s quite hard to tolerate or accept our most troublesome feelings. That’s why we use our capacity to seethat these feelings are the deepest source of our suffering. However, our negative reactions to these difficult feelings are what causes the more sustaining pain and suffering than the original feelings themselves, although that’s rarely obvious to any of us. This requires looking more deeply at ourselves and asking, “How do I feel about this deepest suffering?” Read More . . .
Extraordinary Lessons from 4 American TV Shows
As someone who has had a difficult time finding meaningful television shows or movies, Over the last several years I’ve watched four truly remarkable exceptions that display life lessons that give us deep insights beyond the ordinary ways we are raised. Read More . . .
Hearing needs as demands — the healing potential of this realization
One of the cornerstone distortions in love relationships, friendships and all other kinds of relationships is inaccurately seeing “the other’s” expression of a need as a demand. When we exaggerate the genuine expression of a need and instead experience it as a demand, it sets up the unfortunate and inevitable likelihood of misunderstandings. It can also compromise your own ability or desire to be responsive in a kind and cooperative way. Read More . . .
What’s the danger in hearing perceptions as judgments?
One of the most unrecognized patterns by the general population, and even unwittingly by most therapists, that causes suffering, especially in love relationships, is when one partner or party views and experiences the other’s “perceptions” as “judgments.” Turning perceptions into judgments is one of the least understood dynamics in communication, and is a real source of loss of intimacy, trust and compatibility. Read More . . .
The Art of Setting Clear, Graceful Boundaries with Family and Friends This Holiday Season
All over the world, we’re grappling with family and friendship dilemmas. In America alone, these challenging situations are probably more complex than they have been in a very long time — probably even since the Civil War. Most of my friends, colleagues, and clients are in the midst of dealing with impossible relatives or conversations that revolve around prejudice, hatred, racism, insurrection, political divisions, immigration, or homeless intolerance, to name a few. Read more . . .